Marriage: The Art of Knowing

“Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, it’s about finding the person you can’t live without.” – S.J.D. Peterson

Is your partner “the one”?

While there are exceptions to every rule, here are some signs that your partner is the one for you.

Your partner gets along well with your family and friends.

When the people who know you best are in complete support of your relationship, they will let you know. Remember, your family helped to shape who you are, and has seen you at your best and your worst; equally as important, you chose your friends based on common beliefs, interests and values.

And, on that note...

Your partner is your best friend.

Physical attraction and chemistry are crucial to any relationship. At the core of the relationship, however, there should be a strong and deeply rooted friendship. If you feel like your partner is your best friend in the world, there is a very good chance that they are the one for you.

While it is not solely up to your partner (or anyone else) to make you happy, someone who is aware and insightful enough to know how to lift your spirits is someone who understands you and pays attention. It is comforting to know that you are with someone who picks up on when you might need a boost, and knows just how to make you smile.

“I knew he was the one for me when he made me laugh the hardest I had ever laughed in my life. He then told me that every day for the rest of our lives he would try to put a smile on my face. It was in that moment that I knew.” – Ashley, 28

“It’s just a feeling.”

Your partner in crime is someone who will stand by you when life doesn’t go as planned. They make you feel loved and respected, while admiring and supporting the person you are and continuing to support the person you will become.

“You’re completely at ease to be yourself with them; completely happy with them; and think about them constantly when they’re not with you.” – Amanda, 28

Your partner is “wonderful” just the way they are.

You respect and admire your partner, because in your eyes, they truly are wonderful. This is someone who wants to, and would, do anything for you. You can trust them with your feelings, your secrets, and to support you, your goals and your desires. Your partner should be one of your biggest supporters. A critical component to achieving a healthy relationship is to be with someone who respects you just the way you are. And, as Billy Joel once wrote, ‘don’t go changing to try and please me.’

You want, and you see, a future with your partner.

Your vision for the future includes your partner, and you want to share a life with them.

By asking yourself what you need to feel fulfilled in a long-term relationship, and focusing on your ideal vision of a long lasting relationship leading to marriage and beyond, you will have a better understanding of what you are looking for in a partner.

Surrounding yourself with couples that are in healthy relationships can have a positive influence on your own relationship. They can help you discover and become more aware of what you want your relationship to look like and feel like.

Ultimately… Only you know.

This checklist isn’t perfect, and the same goes for relationships and people. There are certain qualities that are important in a partner, and there are also a lot of other qualities and traits that are necessary for a solid, lasting relationship. It is up to you to decide what those fundamental qualities are for you.

Congratulations! You believe you have found the one and are ready to propose, now what?

Coming up next in this series… The Art of Proposal!

Photo Credit: Jennifer van Son Photography